


look mama, i made it

by johannes_cabal



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 10:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14668818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johannes_cabal/pseuds/johannes_cabal
Summary: Jaeduck gets a tattoo and becomes a national sensation. That’s it. That’s the story.





	look mama, i made it

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from "Forbes" by Borgore, that song Jaeduck danced to on his legendary solo stage at the 20th anniversary concert.

He thought that that would be a good idea, getting a new tattoo while they were in Los Angeles. After all, LA had its fair share of good tattoo artists. He was excited, because he wanted to do it for a while.

When they reached LA, he got his manager to help him book the appointment. The next afternoon, he had a skip in his step as he walked into the parlour, excited to see how it would turn out.

———

The process took a little longer than expected, for he’d requested the tattoo to be in a more sensitive area. The artist had cautioned him about post-care, but he was going on and on in English using complicated terms, and Jaeduck couldn’t understand everything. Jiwon had refused to come with him, because there were needles and he wasn’t exactly fond of them. Sunghoon and Suwon wanted to explore LA as it was their last day, and Jaijin—well, Jaijin was nowhere to be found. So he dragged his manager with him, who sat in a corner tapping away on his phone.

“Do you want to see?” Jaeduck called out to his manager. “Uh, no thanks, hyung,” his manager said half-distracted, busy with handling emails and answering messages, since the members had just concluded their packed schedule, and there was much to be done before they returned.

Jaeduck pouted. He was very satisfied with how his new tattoo looked. It was a Latin phrase he’d come across in a book, _ad altiora tendo_ —"I strive toward higher things."

He was then struck with an idea.

He took out his phone, and signalled one of the parlour staff. In his most laboured attempt to speak English, he tried “Can you, uh,” while waving his phone at the staff. The staff raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “A picture? All right,” he answered before taking Jaeduck’s phone.

Jaeduck adjusted himself, lowering the waistband of his pants slightly so it could be seen. He felt odd but well, the tattoo was beautiful, so whatever. He’d done this before, and there was a great response—the fans definitely seemed to appreciate it. A lot.

The staff returned his phone. “Here you go. It’s a nice design,” he smiled politely before taking his leave. Jaeduck grinned, thanking the staff for his help. Now, time for the reveal. He typed in a caption “What do you think? Something simple,” then proceeding to attach the photograph to his post, and clicking upload.

When he was done, he gestured to his manager, signalling he was ready to leave.

“Okay hyung, after this we need to get to the airport…” His manager began to drone on and on about his schedule, but Jaeduck was way too excited to really pay attention.

But little did he know, he was in for quite the surprise.

———

A few days after he’d returned to Korea, Jaeduck’s phone was blowing up with endless streams of notifications. It was odd, because he’d muted the fancafe notifications, but when he checked his phone, he was in for quite a shock.

His eyes widened like dinner platters—his Kakaotalk messages were in the hundreds, people were sending him news links, and amidst his blurred vision and confusion he saw his name, but still couldn’t fully grasp the situation. He also had twenty missed calls, and one was from Hyunsuk-hyung himself. What on earth had he done? He thought, craning his neck in confusion.

He decided to call the big boss first, but the line was already engaged. He gulped. Was it so bad that damage control was needed?

He then proceeded to call his manager, since his manager would have a better understanding of what on earth was going on with management. “Hyung! Finally!” The manager sounded like he’d just run a marathon. Jaeduck sighed. “What on earth is going on? My phone screen keeps lighting up with notifications. Hyunsuk-hyung even called me!” Jaeduck ruffled his hair in frustration.

The manager heaved a very long sigh. “Hyung, just switch on your television, right now. You need to see it for yourself.”

Jaeduck shrugged before hanging up. He switched on the news channel and he nearly collapsed. On the screen was a huge picture of himself, and the headline:

_“SECHSKIES Member Kim Jaeduck: Causing Medical Crisis Among Korean Women?”_

“What the heck?!” he muttered, turning up the volume of his television.

“In recent news, hospitals around Seoul are reporting that there have been a spate of cases of women being admitted to the emergency department, after SECHSKIES member Kim Jaeduck uploaded a picture of his new tattoo to the fancafe. We cannot show the picture in consideration for our viewers and it is only accessible to members. However, according to reliable sources, the picture is of a tattoo on his hip—”

“What the—?” Jaeduck yelped. “How is this even possible? _How?_ ” He collapsed onto the sofa, his legs feeling like jelly.

_“We have not been able to reach Kim Jaeduck-ssi for direct comment, however, we have statements from his agency and his fellow group members.”_

Jaeduck nearly choked. _The members? Why would they ask the members about such things? Honestly, the journalists these days have nothing better to do,_ he thought, shaking his head in disapproval. He was also worried about what they might say, because after all these years of being in the business, they didn’t have much of a filter anymore.

“We are in the process of reaching out to medical professionals, and seeing how we might help those allegedly affected. We are also contacting Kim Jaeduck for a statement,” a distorted voice droned, and Jaeduck knew it was the agency’s statement.

Then came the part he was dreading, the members’ statements. The journalists themselves had managed to locate the members and interviewed them individually, camera flashes going off as they interviewed them. Jaeduck felt his day going from bad to worse very quickly.

———

_“Eun Jiwon-ssi! Eun Jiwon-ssi! Could you please give a statement on your group member Kim Jaeduck possibly causing a spike in women rushing to the emergency department?”_

Jiwon huffed. “Oi! You rascal—” this was censored by the news, but Jaeduck knew exactly what he'd said—“Do you know what you’ve _done_ to these poor ladies out there? You better do something!” he snapped, before leaving.

Next was Jaijin. The reporters asked him the same question, but Jaijin did not say a word. He merely stared at the cameras, as if glaring right into Jaeduck’s eyes, before simply walking off, his manager close behind.

Then, Sunghoon. Before the reporter could even finish the question, Sunghoon exploded in hysterical laughter, shocking Coco whom he was holding in his arms.

At this point, Jaeduck began to feel a little unwell. Finally, it was the one whom he feared the most: Suwon.

Suwon was lounging at a cafe when they located him. The reporters surrounded him, parroting the question. At this point, Jaeduck was exhausted hearing the same words, and felt as if his soul had parted from his body.

“Well, I expected it, and I would say he’s become the nation’s disturbance,” he remarked snarkily, sipping his coffee.

Jaeduck hurled a string of curses at his television, shocking Edworld and Alexanduck who were lounging nearby. “I’m in deep shit,” he muttered, taking out his phone again to call Hyunsuk-hyung to clean his mess.

_“Wait! This just in—sporadic cases of women being rushed to emergency hospitals in other countries! We now have a representative from the World Health Organization on the line!”_

_“Well, it’s too early to tell, but uh, this might be a problem. We will do research into this and see if there is a correlation. For now, I will not dismiss the possibility of no correlation between Kim Jaeduck’s picture and the medical situation.”_

Jaeduck slapped a hand against his forehead. His phone beeped.

_“Congrats hyung for becoming an international sensation!—Suwon"_ Suwon was going to be dead, after he was done.

“Hyunsuk-hyung? Yes, we should talk.”

———

Two days later, Jaeduck found himself in a hotel’s conference room, similar to when SECHSKIES announced their disbandment. Camera flashes were going off endlessly, and Jaeduck clutched the paper he was holding nervously. He looked at it and began to read the statement, carefully crafted for him.

“Firstly, I would like to apologize for the trouble I have caused to medical departments in our country and those around the world.”

“I will also spend some time in self-reflection and return with a better image. Thank you.”

———

When the conference finally came to an end, Jaeduck felt himself being poked ceaselessly.

“Hyung. _Hyung_!”

He shook his head, suddenly feeling very dizzy, before his vision turned blank. He opened his eyes, and found that he was lying on a leather seat, and looking around, clearly still in the tattoo parlour in Los Angeles.

“Oh good. You’re awake. We need to go,” his manager gestured towards the door, where a car was waiting.

“A dream…” he muttered under his breath. He shuddered.

“I’d better take a raincheck on that idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for this crackfic—written under influence of flu medication.  
> Also shoutout to Discord and Twitter Yellkies for ~~enabling~~ encouraging me.  
>  Special thanks to Jonny and Dells.  
> 


End file.
